HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
accomplished twins. life is a go
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
