So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
