come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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