I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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