i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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