every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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