it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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