What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
