I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
