YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
