It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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