I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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