Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
