We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
