I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
