I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
