i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
