am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
