"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
