dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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