guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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