Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
