Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
