Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
