I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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