He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
