Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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