So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
