u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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