ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
