i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize