Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
