Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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