grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
