Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
