And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
