best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
