I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
