Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
