is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
