That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
