There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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