You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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