ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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