what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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