just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My penis needs a shock collar
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
