My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I love having hate sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
