It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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