Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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