I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
