yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
