I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize