Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
