the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
