My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
