forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i already hear my dad disowning me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
