Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need water and some morals
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
