You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
