I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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