I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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