are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
