she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
