go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize