Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
