i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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