I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
