do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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