Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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