I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize